tangled here and there

We always end up asking our own selves   ‘who am I?’ Doesn’t this question creep out the natural process of being aware of things with time?
How easily we say I know him/her inside out; we’ve been together for past ten years now. But we’ve been with ourselves for more than that and yet there are those moments when we end up doubting the acquaintance.  How come getting to know one own self always end up in dilemma’s?  Am I what the world looks at me as? Or am I what I perceive to be? Is my identity what I look like or how I feel? Or is it that I am just a wandering soul caught up in this body to witness and experience this life? Is everything that happens destiny? Are changes not possible? It appears like we are books, already written, but learning and knowing more with every page we read, every day we live.

There is a prologue you have about yourself and then there is this review people have which comes like a clout. That’s the reality, the so called reality, that same harsh reality. The truth. But it’s not always supposed to be harsh. No one is evil, it’s just at times sadly magnified in some cases, and then these people suddenly work on their evil attributes. But then we all, whether with an evil or a good mask are learners, wandering souls in these bodies to learn whether consciously or unconsciously. At times life ends for some at an early age, don’t mourn forever, it was just time for them to wander along and look for another body another lesson, another teaching.

We end up cribbing about the heavy weight of this world. Weight of failures, disappointments, hurt, separation, heartbreak, the miseries don’t end. But one thing can, this heavy weight. How? Cause it’s the hypothetical weight we’re carrying along everywhere we go, it’s our belief in luckless aspects and our ability to holding onto everything that hurts too close and keeping the happy things in distant memories. Drive them close to yourself, they won’t harm.
It all started with the usual query in my head, ’Why I lost the things that mattered a lot to me?”

Questioned my failures, my loss’s .But just then I realized I can’t be holding onto my doubts perpetually, I can’t always be looking for answers of questions which are just the verities of life. Maybe it’s true, how we relate to the light at the end of the tunnel. When we plan out a vacation, your destiny is that place, which holds a special place in your heart, its somewhere you’ve been wanting to go. Maybe it’s a beautiful hill top with a little cozy cottage, or maybe it’s just the sea side with the cool breeze reviving you, the shells adding onto that sense of pureness of soul. But it’s not always dreaming, it’s not always the destiny, it’s the path too. The planning, the do’s and don’ts. It’s the dark tunnels, it’s the much annoying traffic, the abandoned areas, the lost times, the frustration.

Why do we get vacationing in between something so intense?    Because it almost explains the lessons which we prefer unlearned. The destiny is the much fanatical desired place where we want to be. But the path, the troubles, the annoying times, brake downs, the fortune we end up paying to be there.

 Is it that we buy dreams? No it’s the price you pay to ‘achieve’ them, it’s the compromises, sacrifices you make; the tears you shed. Whatever miseries took place, they are a part too of the journey. But aren’t they the one which give you a chance to smile when you’re there, at your destination. Looking back at them, don’t they somewhere makes you cherish them too, with an essence of pride for overcoming them. Let’s face it, these unlucky mishaps are the ones which made it worthwhile, more adventurous. An easy journey is not the best, it won’t make you realize the true value of the dream you’ve wanted to achieve.

So let’s end with a little exercise, breathe in, breathe out, repeat; and now shoot like that pretty star in the dark night sky cause you know you’d make it. There’s always light at then of the tunnel.

-A little dream lover.